Tales from Stalag 13
by turbomagnus
Summary: Even the best stories sometimes leave things out. What else might have happened in and around Stalag 13 that the series never showed... A collection of shorts and drabbles for "Hogan's Heroes".
1. The Morning After

Author's Note: Part of an experimental project to write at least one short every day for the next year. We'll see if I actually manage to meet my goal. This is The 365 Project, 5 January.

Disclaimer: Hogan's Heroes is the property of CBS, used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

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"Tales from Stalag 13"  
'The Morning After'  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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Colonel Klink came out of the _Kommandantur _in his usual flurry of coat, cane and monocle as he bellowed, "Repooort!"

"_Herr Kommandant_!" Sergeant Schultz saluted, "I am pleased to report all prisoners are present and accounted for, _Herr Kommandant_!"

"Umhm," Klink made the noise sharply as he came to a stop, looking at the arrayed Allied prisoners of war, "Prisoners, from time to time, out of my own free will, I bring you news of the war of which you are no longer a part..."

Klink began to pace up and down in front of the main group that included the Senior Prisoner of War Officer, Colonel Robert Hogan, U.S. Army Air Corps, "The war continues to go well for the all-victorious Third Reich. Your countries' foolish attempt to land a force in North Afrika has resulted in the complete annihilation of an American tank corps by German Panzer divisions, once more proving the superiority of German forces over those of the Allies."

From within the crowd someone whose voice Klink didn't recognise made a comment, "Good job, Colonel, you've kept the world's largest litter box from us!"

"Yeah," a second voice added, "Now all they need is the world's largest cat to use it!"

Klink scowled as the prisoners broke discipline even further and began to laugh and slap each other on the backs. This would not do, what if General Burkhalter saw this... or worse! With that horrifying thought in his mind, Klink stormed over to where Hogan stood and faced him.

"Colonel Hogan, do you -" Klink cut himself off and frowned, adjusting his monocle as he looked Hogan in the eye, "Your eyes are red, Hogan. You've been up late. Digging tunnels perhaps?"

Hogan looked offended, "Of course not, _Kommandant_! Digging tunnels, why I was reading '_Mein Kampf_' last night, stayed up all night to do it, just couldn't put it down."

"Uh-uh-uh," Klink wagged his finger in front of Hogan's face, "I know you, Hogan, you and your men were digging. Why do you persist in such things, Hogan? You of all people know that there has never been an escape from _Stalag _13. We will find this tunnel of yours', Hogan; and when we do, you and your men both will spend six weeks in the Cooler."

"_Herr Kommandant_," Hogan almost looked hurt now, "Have you no faith in human nature?"

"'Faith in human nature'," Klink scoffed, "Colonel Hogan, if you came into my office and told me the sun was shining, I wouldn't believe you until I had looked out the window and felt it raining or not."

"Yes, I can image you would feel it raining," Hogan commented, looking at the officer's peaked cap that covered Klink's bald head, causing the German officer to scowl.

"Disss..." Klink's hand shot up to his eyebrow, then snapped away, "...misssed!"

As soon as Klink was out of sight, Hogan winced and covered his eyes with his hand to keep the sun out. He had to find a new place to meet Allied Intelligence and French and German underground contacts, that's all there was to it; meeting them in town at the _Hoffbrau_ over drinks was starting to get to him, especially when the meetings took a while.


	2. Cashiered : AU

Author's Note: The 365 Project is an experimental project to write and post at least one short every day for the next year, not including my semi-regular bi-weekly updates. Whether or not that goal can be reached, we'll see... This is The 365 Project, 14 January.

Disclaimer: Hogan's Heroes is the property of CBS, used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit. Other situations are borrowed from the 'Fox' alternate history duology by Douglas Niles and Michael Dobson and are also used without permission or intent to profit. An explanation of those situations will follow the story.

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"Cashiered"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

_Oberst _Wilhelm Klink was facing a fear of any officer as he was marched from the _Kommandantur _flanked by a pair of guards - not Schultz or Langenschidt, these were fine physical specimens who were a credit to their people, there would be no escape from their custody - into middle of the compound, face to face with another officer and surrounded by his command. Off to the side, drummers began beating out a series of sharp beats as the other officer took a step forward, reached out and plucked Klink's peaked cap from his head. If he hadn't been flanked by guards, Klink would've shouted at the other officer as they frowned at Klink's cap and then threw it over the fence into the dog pen, where the camp's guard dogs quickly attacked and destroyed it. That insult was only compounded as the medals and insignia pinned to the chest of Klink's uniform jacket were plucked from it one by one and left to drop into the dirt before the other officer moved on to adding the buttons from Klink's uniform to the pile in the same manner. Then the officer held out his hand and a soldier stepped forward to place a knife in it, a knife that they used to cut Klink's collar tabs away before handing the knife back to the soldier, who returned to the ranks, and dropping the rank insignia into the dirt as well.

Wilhelm Klink was left standing in the middle of _Stalag_ 13, dressed in what was effectively the uniform of the new German Republican Army as the other officer extended his hand.

"Welcome to the Allies, Colonel," Colonel Hogan said with a grin.

"Welcome to the start of a new Germany," Klink retorted as he took Hogan's hand and shook it as their men, of all nationalities, began to cheer.

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Author's Note: This story takes place in the alternate universe created by Niles and Dobson's 'Fox' duology of books; 'Fox On The Rhine' and 'Fox At The Front' where the Valkyrie plot to assassinate Hitler - referenced in the Hogan's Heroes episode "Operation Briefcase" - was successful... for a while. Unfortunately, Hitler's death brought Himmler to power with his own plans for how to fight the war; he negotiated a temporary peace with Soviet Russia to reduce Germany to a one-front war, held back fighters and increased production of the Me-262 Jets - which were put into service as fighters since Hitler wasn't there to insist they be made fighter-bombers to attack England - until a critical point was reached to deal a crippling blow to the Allied bombing missions, then put Field Marshall Rommel in charge of a massive armored breakthrough, supported by those same jet fighters, intended to capture Allied supplies and split the Allied offensive in two. This 'Fuchs am Rhein', or 'Fox on the Rhine' offensive was almost successful until a United States armored division succeeded in destroying the bridges crossing the Meuse River in Dinant and effectively trapping four German Panzer divisions west of the Meuse.

Faced with defeat, Rommel had three options... one, surrender; two, retreat and hope that the forces remaining to him would be enough to save Germany; or three, change the situation into one where Germany had a chance of surviving. He took the third option and sacrificed his personal honor for his country by turning two of his three Panzer-armies (later to be joined by a second full Army Group) around and attacking into Germany alongside General Patton's Third Army against the Nazi SS units and, regrettably, other units of the Germany army who sided with the SS units. Eventually, all Nazi resistance broke down and the Allies and the newly-formed German Republic took Berlin just before the Soviets - who had re-entered the war on their own side, turning it into a three-way free-for-all - leading to conflict between the AEF and their German allies against the Soviet army and a seige of Berlin that ended with the dropping of the atomic bomb on the Soviet forces' headquarters in Potsdam.

This author's note has actually been longer than the piece itself, so I'll simply close with recommending anyone who enjoys World War II history or alternate histories to find and read the 'Fox' books for themselves. And yes, I'll probably come back to this little Hogan's Heroes/'Fox' crossover; after all, there's always Hochstetter to consider...


End file.
